Nambucca

Just finished my first week of food service prac in Macksville,Nambucca...
Had lunch in one of the cafes here on Saturday... Grilled Chicken Burger...It had a weird aftertaste... Coz it was a stale chicken... Asked the waiter to change another one.. But still ...there isn't much difference... i did not manage to finish it though.. In short, the food sucks....

Then We wei and I went for a walk after that along Nambucca river... I bought a banana milkshake.. Again.. it does not taste that great... watery consistency in a giant papercup....managed to finish half.. and the rest goes in the bin...

We wei was talking about how she would enjoy living and working here...

My gosh... it is like a dead town to me... You will rarely see any youths here..Plus, the food here sucks... with no fancy cafes to hang out in weekends.I seriously can't see myself working in a rural area in the future... It must either be Sydney or Melbourne.

I went to the river side again today for a walk coz I was freezing in the nursing quarters... listening to my Ipod... Walked over the bridge... Still not too bad...

Can't wait to go back to newcastle on Thursday. Hope my food service prac will go on fine..

Then I need to be mentally prepared for the next challenge....Clinical placement at John Hunter Hospital.

Welcome weekend...

Last day of my weekend, Sunday.

Will have to wake up 6 am in the morning tomorrow and travel all the way to Cessnock District Hospital for food service placement. Luckily, my group mate is able to give me and Angeline a life there.. Or else we would need to travel 2 hours everyday to placement.. which will be exhausting...

So how is my placement so far and how am I doin? I can say.. Not too bad..

There are crappy days, and there are happy days... But at this stage, there is more bad days compared to good days...

Crappy days is when I feel stupid or incapable at work... when I don't believe my potential to grow and learn.

Friday was the best day.... As it is the end of the week.. And was looking forward to having lunch with Melissa( YW from SGI sydney) accompanied by sincere heart-to-heart dialogue... I was expecting to have lunch somewhere in Darby Street in a nice cafe as I thought we should have time... But we ended up having lunch in Hungry Jacks in Jezzo as we are about to attend Newcastle region meeting in Elermore Vale Community Centre at 3 pm.

It went well... I was glad being to that meeting for it reminds me of how important I am....rather than comparing myself to those around me, I should always believe that everyone is unique and has their mission that he or she can only accomplish in this life time..

Not only should I see that in myself, but also see that unlimited potential in another human being... Instead of wanting the other person to change, I should enact change in my life in order to effect change in my environment.

In other words, instead of picking up flaws of another human being, I should have the wisdom to see the good in them as who they are... and deal with them with wisdom and compassion... and that will need come from my sincere daimoku and prayer from my heart for the absolute happiness of all people around me, especially for those who I have problems with... And truly appreciate their presence in my life... for they are the ones who enrich my life while helping me to become a better human being each and everyday...

There are times when we will be too caught up in our own problems that we see only limited scope of our capabilities. It is only by striving for the happiness of others that we are able to solve our own problems.In other words, it is to be more caring to those people in our environment. Be it our friends our family... and to wake up everyday and feel thankful for who we are and what we have.

So although there can be annoying people around us which contributes to our crappy days, we will need to appreciate their presence... As they make us grow in tolerance as a human being... also, it draws out the compassion in us for him or her that the reason that the other person is behaving this way is probably that they are suffering deep in their life but they just don't realise it yet. To be able to see that, is liberating for us... as we will know at that point on how to react... by not being influenced by the actions of those people in our environment.

To put into practice in daily life is of course difficult... That is why we re-determined everyday with daimoku and prayer. For example: 'I pray for abc's absolute happiness regardless of his/her behaviour, and that she will gain victory over her fundamental darkness.' That prayer, which acts as the latent effect, will come forth when we are engaging with the other person that we are praying for.

This is what I learned from the meeting.. which I think will be useful to anyone who are facing difficulties with people at times...

Now I will just need to move forward.. and re-determine everyday.

Miss my family and 狗妹妹

Most recent picture with Bro...


Bro with 狗妹妹..


Mum with my 狗妹妹...


Couzy sis with 狗妹妹...


Me with 狗妹妹..

Miss home.. and mother's cooking.... can I eat in my dreamzz??

Leng Chi Kang??

Look at this .... It is Aaron Made Leng Chi Kang...when me, OY and WF were having lunch at Kotara... Oi Yin just finished exam... So we chilled out together...
Mixed with left over rice, coke and ice....aaron... sigh... Soooo childish...
But we had our laugh ler...haha...

Uneasy...

Going to start Food service placement soon on Monday.... Had a great time with Wei Fun, Oi Yin, Aaron, Sim and Hui Rong yesterday.. we had a lil alcohol with singing and dancing...Just a small get together as some of us will be going on placement.

And the past few weeks, I've always been together with Wei Fun and others...and I really cherish the moments we spent together....

And today suddenly, I am alone.. So feel a bit awkward.. my feelings all over the place...watched Youtube whole afternoon.. listen to my favourite songs and singing relli loud in my room....

But I still feel weird.. Chanted for half an hour... but still can't find the peace in me... So I went to Huiru's room... And Mei Sin, Ping Syen, Pin Sze were there.... and chatted with them...

It is good that I feel better now with their company...and thanks to Huiru for giving me some advice : )

So, I will need to be mentally prepared to face challenges ahead... Not to worry but face them with courage... So are my friends and course mates...I pray sincerely from my heart for the happiness friends and family around me...

And may all of us graduate with pride and joy end of this year...

Pek Yiong's Bday

Best part of Uni life... Celebrating frenzz bday....Frenzz putting effort to make cake and organise surprise party....

I hope those who see my blog will be reminded of their uni life...Friendship like this is hard to find once we are out in the society working...

Treasure this while you can...

FRENSHIP FOREVER!!

Another day...

It is 12 am... Sleepy but do not feel like going to bed yet....
I am pretty lazy lately... I've done all my assignments for this semester... waiting for the start for my next placement at Cessnock...

It is already June now... There still little time left out of uni life...I wondered how my future is going to be...

Have many things on my mind... and things that i am worried about...

1) Hopefully I am going to pass all my placements,while enjoying the process of learning
2) Hopefully I am going to find a job here.. And settle in when I'm graduating... Still do not know how to go about it yet
3) Hopefully I will achieve what I meant to do this year

Sometimes I do not understand myself... All the insecurities and fear surrounding me... I do feel that at times that I can't see the beauty in me...
Is it because I compare myself to those around me? Yea.. obviously... Due to lack of self-confidence...This inner negativity has accompanied me for long.... That it will not shrug off my shoulders...

And sometimes I will beam with confidence... I am just amaze at my inconsistency...Fluctuating all the time...

Everytime I am different... Still trying to find my grounding.... My principles... And my sense of self..where is it? The part of me?

Will need to sort that out...

Another exciting day in 2009

It took me ages before i can write anything here... Probably the first entry in 2009.How pathetic.. i know...lol...

It is turning winter now.. It was sunny but very windy.. At the middle of a 40% assignment.. but just wanna write something because I am bored...

Woke up at 9 am today... Not my usual self... Coz I am so used to sleep in till
11 am nowadays.. Have buddhist meeting at 1 pm.. and so i thought..Went breakfast with my friends at Goldbergs at 10.30am in Darby St.. It was nice.. but too much bacon,sausages, eggs and oil.. it does not sound that fantastic to me like my friends had beamed about...

We had a great time.... It has been a long time when we really sit down, talk and spend time together.. most of us are on placements now... And will soon go our separate ways by the end of this year...

When we were almost done with our breakfast, there is this hairy man coming in with his buddy friends for breakfast.. I had a really good laugh with my friends and he was looking at me, smiling.. Probably thinking:' What is this Asian gal thinking about me? Mayb I am too hot for her??'

LOL.. I was in stitches because he has hairy chest! haha.. Then when you look side ways, he has hairy armpits too.... Then I told my friends that we are looking at a gorilla eating breakfast in the cafe now.... Then I kept on laughing... I just couldn't stop.. Am i mean? I think I am.. Lol... too excited about hairy people.

After that, we went by a couple of shops and there is this make up bag that i really fancied.. But it was 50 bucks.. damn!!

Too expensive for me... Lol...coz it will be like 140 MYR.... nah.. too pricey..
Then i was looking at the bag.. then putting it back again.. Going back and fro like for 3 times around that shop deciding whether I should get it...

Then i went through a couple of rings in a basket with 75% off the original price.. YAY! and so i thought.. There is this plastic yellowish crystal-like ring from the basket and I tried it on.. then my friends just blurted:'Are you from Mars or something? Wearing that?'

Sadly, I did not get anything from that shop..

I was checking my sms in the car until I was filled with guilt for saying no to the Australian lady who was suppose to fetch me to buddhist meeting at 1 pm. My friend was very kind to give me a lift to Elermore Vale and I reached there at 2 pm. I was late. But when I tried to get into the community centre, It was locked up. I called the lady again and then she was laughing away saying that the meeting on Saturdays has always been on 3 pm...

SHIAT!!! Sigh.. I was amazed by myself with the memory of a gold fish.. BUGGER!! How could I forget?? Now I am stranded here like a dork... looking at bunch of youngsters playing soccer in the fields...

However, I made it to the meeting... And this really reminds me of something.
Me, being a SGI buddhist need to always remind myself of the vow I've made for Kosen Rufu; as I will not always be that lucky for the lady to remind me of that vow...
Maybe it sounds ridiculous and serious to you...but buddhism is all about fighting for happiness for other people and yourself. To have compassion and gratitude to whatever happens in your life. Let's say you had a bad day because you spilled coffee on your shirt or the dog had bitten your shoes off.. We must have the composure to say 'thank you' to all these trivial matters happening to us, although it is always easy to blame on that dog, or having the habit of asking 'Why is this happening to me?'
Also, to have the courage and capacity to say 'thank you' from our hearts to annoying people.. Haha.. And all that needs practice and sincerity from faith, practice and study; in addition for the efforts we poured into kosen rufu.

I admit I have been slacking lately in terms of human revolution, in other words, personal development....

So after the meeting, I re-determined again.

1) Score well in my upcoming assignment.I don't care if it is a tough one
2) Tell my boss next week about the number of shifts that I can work. Coz I was scared of telling him.. and I do not know why...
3) To enjoy my upcoming placement without fear no matter how hard it may be.
4) To show actual proof through my personal victories by deepening my faith, practice and study.

That is all for now... today I re-determined, which is the highlight of the day depsite the good time I had with my friends...because the torch in my heart was lightened up... for good. And I feel alive : )

Boring...and excited at the same time?

This is the time when I'm strap in the middle. See, I just came back from a party that don't feel like a party at all... How 'cool' is that?

So, I was all dressed up... and when I stepped into the venue,people were wearing smart casual while I was looking as if I was going to a prom night. The theme was ' Red, Black, and White'...so me and another friend of mine expected that we should be dressing up to the nines. Little do we know that we actually looked like peacocks at the party. I mean we really stood out.

So you see, I was not feeling in place. I still have glitter on my body! My goodness.. this is hell of an experience. And lol, this is what an inexperienced party goer would be which is to either be over-dress, or under-dress.Ha.

Then my bunch of friends and I was sitting there,looking at each other, drinking some beer and cruisers, looking at the projected big wide screen showing Wrestling. Then, there was the dance floor, which was empty and nobody was dancing. I was feeling like dancing but my friends are not gonna dance at all. Hrmm...So you know, I was feeling realli realli out of place.

After that, my friends were leaving...being all dressed up, I don't feel like going home straight after that. Luckily, our friend is gentlemen enough in fetching us to Hamilton to eat something. Of course, it was freezing. Then we went to Darby street for a cup of coffee. Still not bad for a night.But the party, I will never EVER be to a party like this anymore. Seriously... period.